Being an Indian

Being an Indian, I have the right to fly any airline but Air India. I
have the right to curse workers on Indian airports for the little bit
courtesy I receive and eulogize the clerks and police on other airports
for their rude behaviour. Being an Indian I have the undeniable right to
try to smuggle electronic goods into India and then pay a bribe to get
them officially into India. Oh yes, nobody else is as anguished about the
corrupt practices of the customs officials as I.

Being an Indian, I have the right to photocopy entire books, no matter
which country I am in. Being an Indian in the US, I am preoccupied with
finding out which airline is the cheapest to fly to India, which telephone
company is the cheapest to call India and this is what I talk with my fellow
Indians most of the time. Sometimes I find the 78 c/min too expensive to call,
so either I pay a crook a few bucks and talk with my family for half an hour
with the courtesy of the perpetually loss making Indian telephone dept, or I
ask my father to search for a connection in the telephone dept. Being an
Indian, I have the right to buy something which I cannot afford, use it for
some time, then return it for full refund.

Being an Indian, I must read India Today and other Indian magazines (hidden
clause: I shouldn't have to pay for it) and then lecture for hours how India
is going to dogs. Being an Indian, I have the right to lament India's
performance at Asian Games and Olympics, although I am not good at any sport,
neither do I have a liking for any. I used to love cricket when India was world
champion, but now I despise it because India loses to Pakistan most of the time.