Broken English

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier;
Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing
colleges, always speaks in English. That college students have
collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"

.... Njoy ...........with his......... .....English. ......... ....

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's
Spoken English"

# At the ground:
------------ -----
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs
please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
------------ ---------
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
------------ --------- --
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt
this )
------------ --------- --
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to
wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the
campus

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose
today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,
the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am
late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the
enjoy"

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "