Strict advice for Fitness

An obese blonde with unhealthy overweight, went to Doctor.

Her doctor put her on a diet with strict advise. " I want you to eat regularly for two days and then skip a day. I want you to repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Wow, this is amazing!" the doctor said, "So you did follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded yes. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" The Doctor asked.

"No, from skipping", The Blonde explained .

How to Get a Perfect Job Locally

Whenever you’re not certain wherever to begin searching a job, but you’re genuinely serious about discovering one locally, well you’re not alone because there are 1000s jobless in the United States.  Nonetheless if you recognize where to search it is often more simplified.

Where can you find employers? How can you find your desired local job?

Let us begin by determining your skills and accomplishments prior to you starting a job search.  Prepare to complete employment applications and get your CV ready and waiting.  There’s numerous means to discover local jobs.

Job centers provide numerous vacancies for different kinds of work. Majority of job centers update their employment board frequently.

Originally, these career centers cater to young jobseekers up to 21 years old. They arrange for appropriate job interviews, which they believe, would match your skills and abilities. Some job centers also process training vacancies and apprenticeships to young people. Today, these centers also cater adults’ need of employment.

Another way to discover current job postings and advertisements is through the use of local and national newspapers to find what’s available.  To find several recent job openings go to your local library and take a look at the employment classifieds.

If you want to stay home then just check open job listing online.  You can take a look at the positions you prefer and go through them one at a time.

Ordinarily nearly most career fields would have their own journals, magazines or periodicals.  Many hiring employers are now using these publications seeking professionals.  You are able to subscribe to these periodicals or buy them at a newsstand.  Whenever you’re looking to begin off your career that’s supported by your academic degree or background, you ought to register to professional publishing’s to increase chances getting a good job.

Using an employment agency is another way to find local job openings in a wide variety of industries.  You will find most employment agencies listed in your telephone directory.

Job vacancies can also be found at the employer’s human resource department.  Some companies actually don’t advertise in newspapers and only use internal notices for open positions.  So why not go visit some companies and request a current list of employment vacancies.

The most cost-effective way in finding local jobs is through the internet. Majority of employment agencies, newspapers, top companies, magazines and job centers have their own website. You could save time by searching through them one by one and apply for the job you prefer the most.

Being resourceful and utilizing the options presented here will save you time in search for work.  Using all of these ideas will improve your chances of finding employment.

Now that you know more about career hunting and what you can do to increase your chances of discovering a better career, why not begin hunting for careers online at our job search engine.

Article republished from Copy & Paste Articles

The Story of Bran Muffins

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.

Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods ( LOTS of bran muffins for their fiber) and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

'What are the greens fees?', grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man 'This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!

15 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR WOMAN

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

**********

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

**********

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

**********

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

**********

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

**********

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

**********

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

**********

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

**********

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

**********

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

**********

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

**********

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

**********

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books .

**********

14. Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

**********

15. Sadly, all men are created equal!

**********

21 Rules of Life

1. Marry the right person . This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

*********

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

*********

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

*********

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

*********

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

*********

6. Be generous.

*********

7. Have a grateful heart.

*********

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

*********

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

*********

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

*********

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

*********

12. Commit yourself to quality.

*********

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationship with people you love and respect.

*********

14. Be loyal.

*********

15. Be honest.

*********

16. Be a self-starter.

*********

17. Be decisive even it it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

*********

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

*********

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

*********

20. Take good care of those you love.

*********

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

*********

What are Novelty Buttons?

If anyone has spent any amount of time on fashion sites or watched fashion shows on network news, they may have noticed a tiny addition to the outfits. Buttons. And I don't mean the kind that button up a shirt or dress. I mean graphic funny colorful buttons that often match the clothing. Why buttons? They are fun. They are inexpensive, they they tell a powerful message. They help with self-expression.

By Alexa Ferotina

If anyone has spent any amount of time on fashion sites or watched fashion shows on network news, they may have noticed a tiny addition to the outfits. Buttons. And I don’t mean the kind that button up a shirt or dress. I mean graphic funny colorful buttons that often match the clothing. Why buttons?  They are fun. They are inexpensive, they they tell a powerful message. They help with self-expression.

As a child of Woodstock, we felt that expressing ourselves, our feelings, our needs, was the most important thing. We actually had that part right, we simply did not know how to reach that goal. We left it to psuedo-gurus like Timothy Leary.

I believe The Beatles and other British originals influenced us a great deal which led us to believe we were being original by growing our hair long or braided, and the gratuitous ragged peace sign tshirt was usually the main attire.

Of course we were original in some ways. We did learn to question authority, which, until that time, was considered almost a diety in our culture.  And that was probably a good thing. It helped end a war we might have fared better to end much earlier.  Again, we were finding our way and learning to express ourselves. We did it mainly with loud music, drugs, and dressing differently.  I love going to the park with my dog, wearing a dog cartoon button and matching tshirt and cap.  Never has someone not mentioned it, usually another dog lover and thanks to a silly button, I’ve made a new friend with similar interests.

Life has changed so dramatically from when I was young.  We live in a world where it is very easy to lose one’s voice. We are constantly re-inventing ourselves.  We can make that process easier, oddly enough, with a button.  I have a collection of about forty and about 20 or so matching tshirts and caps.  A lot of people tell me they get up in the morning just to see what my combination will be.

It is a rare social or business get-together when the question of “What’s your URL?” does not come up.

We are still all social animals, though, and have a need to interact beyond the computer screen.

I love the buttons and matching merchandise at RickLondonCollection.Com. I think it is that they contain hilarious cartoons by the owner Rick London and they mix and match very well. And, being theme-oriented, they make for great conversation pieces. I have bouth a lot of other items there as well from cartoon wall clocks to aprons.  It is a very unique store.

There are a million ways to express oneself but the most fun way is with funny buttons, tees, and caps and matching tshirts and caps Hilarious T Shirts

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Two Choices for Success

Copyright (c) 2007 Ray Miller

It’s really very simple. There are two Choices if you want to be successful.

You’ve probably heard it said before that there are many different strategies for success, that there’s not only one path, there are many.

And this is 100% true.

So you must be saying OK Ray, have you lost your mind!

Which is it, many paths or just two!

Well, there are many strategies but only two basic choices when it comes to being succesful.There so simple it’s ridiculous.

Either you act or you don’t.

It’s that simple. Either you’re a talker or a doer.

Nothing takes the place of action. Nothing.

When i go to marketing or self improvement seminars I see tons of people taking notes, writing frantically and then never do anything with the amazing information being presented.

I’ve even been told by some of these people that the’ re hoping that they’ll act on this info instead of letting the notes collect dust.

Now to be fair, everybody has been in this place in one or more areas in life at any given time.

I’ve been there.

Many times!

It’s a painful place to be, searching for the one thing that will be the “answer” or “secret” that will be the way to success.

Meanwhile, that one thing has been inside of you all along.

It isn’t out there somewhere.

So before you try the next big thing that will give you more money or more business try this simple formula :

The next time you read a book, listen to a tape or attend a seminar pick one strategy even if it’s a a small one, and apply it right away!

Don’t wait and don’t try anything else until you achieved a certain benefit from the strategy.

Get really good at it.

In fact, master it.

Just one area.

For instance, if you have a Internet business and it’s Internet marketing you want to master pick one technique for getting traffic to your web site.

Say it’s article writing and submission.Just keep learning everything you possibly can and start writing and submitting until you get consistent positive results. To the point you don’t have to think it about it. It just becomes automatic.

At this point. you’re ready to get good at another traffic technique, and before you know it you’re mastering several ways to get traffic and you’re business is thriving.

Even if you took action for a year and nothing happened you’ll learn a heck of a lot. And the next year will be ten times better, and before you know it you’ll be reaching your goals instead of talking about them.

And, the best part is, when you develop the habit of action, success become easier.

All because you made the choice to take action, pick an area and master it.

So which type of person are you?

You can change it in any given moment.With a little initiative, focus and persistence, this simple strategy will no doubt improve your results and you’ll be more successful in any area of your life.

Ray Miller is a self improvement expert and coach. He teaches and inspires people in all walks of life, how to achieve ultimate success and fufillment. To get his FREE report, 5 Simple Steps to Ultimate Success, just go to: http://successtipsdaily.com/ .

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Funny Computer Program Code

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@ BrideGroom Char(NotBad) ,
@ Bride Char(Good)
AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND CarCount > 2 AND HouseStatus
='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus= 'B.TECH or BE or Degree or MCA or MBA' AND
HavingBrothers= 'NO' AND HavingSisters ='No'
AND AllowRelocate ='YES'
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;

Broken English

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier;
Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing
colleges, always speaks in English. That college students have
collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"

.... Njoy ...........with his......... .....English. ......... ....

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's
Spoken English"

# At the ground:
------------ -----
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs
please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
------------ ---------
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
------------ --------- --
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict abt
this )
------------ --------- --
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt ,U shirt,V shirt.. but if you want to
wear .... remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the
campus

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose
today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....

Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached,
the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am
late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002:

"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the
happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the
enjoy"

At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:

"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

Interview with a Cartoonist

Being funny is not necessarily something with which someone is born. No, it does not hurt, but it it can prevent some major hurdles. In a nutshell, before one even thinks about trying to become funny, that is, if they are naturally not funny, is to learn about editing, and the fact that other people want the punch line and want it fast.

To be honest, growing up, I thought I was a bit of a shy slug and I don’t think I was that far off. Being funny was the last thing on my mind, though I do remember now and then trying to impress my female classmates with some bad attempts at humor.

Though humor is subjective, it is also quick. Nobody has time to listen to a life story before getting to a punch line. Any humorist, no matter what their genre knows that being brief is being professional. Tell the joke or create the cartoon or one liner or whatever the venue, and get on to the next.

I considered Shakespeare’s famous line, “Brevity is the soul of wit”. Even then, he had the insight to know that people’s attention spans are short. Sure, they want to hear your joke or funny story, but they also have other things on their mind. Even if they think something is funny, if it is long-winded, and takes too much of their time, they may consider you “funny”, but chances are they won’t come back for more of your humor.

Consider the cartoonist and humor writer. That would be me. I created a single panel cartoon called Londons Times Cartoons in 1997. I based it on the Shakesperian theory that humor was and is the soul of wit. No long drawn out captions. Sometimes no captions at all. The picture would tell the story. It was an experiment. It was off the wall. That year, I posted less than a hundred cartoons on my website. Though I had thought of many others, those were the ones that past the litany test of “what is funny” to me.

Ten years later I have one of the most visited cartoon sites on the Internet and over 8500 single panel cartoons. So how did it all happen? It was a process, doc.

I don’t think there is just one road toward making something like that happen. In my case, it was mainly listening to other people whom I felt were funny, reading autobiographies of funny persons, and studying humor. I watched sitcoms. I went to funny movies. I noticed one-liners in real life were really not much different than one liners in a cartoon.

I liked what I heard and it was easy to repeat. Instant value.

Another element of “being funny” at least in the marketplace is to find one’s niche or voice. Sometimes that can take time. A lot of time. In my case, I tried stand-up comedy, acting and other such venues for a number of years. The problem was that I didn’t understand the art well and was not able to perfect it to the degree to which I wanted.

So I tried writing, and I finally settled for cartooning. I had read the late great Charles Schulz’s autobiography in which he said the reason he went into cartooning is because he couldn’t do much else very well. That was the story of my life. If it is the story of yours, it is never to late to develop your sense of humor. Listen, read, learn, and have a leap of faith....and oh, and don’t be afraid to look foolish. They may just laugh at you yet.

To see the huge body of creative panel comics created by Rick London and his team, point your browser Funny Cartoon Site, and Cartoon Archive

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The Story of Butch O' Hare

During the course of World War II, many people gained fame in one
way or another. One man was Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot
assigned to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. One time his entire
squadron was assigned to fly a particular mission. After he was
airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had
forgotten to top off his fuel tank. Because of this, he would not have
enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to leave formation and return. As he was
returning to the mother ship, he could see a squadron of Japanese
Zeroes heading toward the fleet to attack. And with all the fighter
planes gone, the fleet was almost defenceless. His was the only
opportunity to distract and divert them. Single-handily, he dove into
the formation of Japanese planes and attacked them. The American
fighter planes were rigged with cameras, so that as they flew and
fought, pictures were taken so pilots could learn more about the
terrain, enemy manoeuvres, etc.

Butch dove at them and shot until all his ammunition was gone, then
he would dive and try to clip off a
wing or tail or anything that would make the enemy planes unfit to fly.
He did anything he could to keep them from reaching the American
ships. Finally, the Japanese squadron took off in another direction,
and Butch O' Hare and his fighter, both badly shot up, limped back to
the carrier. He told his story, but not until the film from the camera on
his plane was developed, did they realize the extent he really went to,
to protect his fleet. He was recognized as a hero and given one of the
nation's highest military honours. And as you may know, O'Hare
Airport was named after him.

Prior to this time in Chicago, there was a man called Easy Eddie. He
was working for a man Al Capone. Al Capone wasn't famous for
anything heroic, but he was notorious for the murders he'd committed
and the illegal thing's he'd done. Easy Eddie was Al Capone's lawyer
and he was very good. In fact, because of his skill, he was able to
keep Al Capone out of jail. To show his appreciation, Al Capone paid
him very well. He not only earned big money, he would get extra
things, like a residence that filled an entire Chicago city block.

The house was fenced, and he had live-in help and all of the
conveniences of the day. Easy Eddie had a son. He loved his son
and gave him all the best things while he was growing up, - clothes,
cars, and a good education. And, because he loved his son he tried
to teach him right from wrong. But one thing he couldn't give his son
was a good name, and a good example. Easy Eddie decided that this
was much more important than all the riches he had given him. So, he
went to the authorities in order to rectify the wrong he had done.

In order to tell the truth, it meant he must testify against Al Capone, and
he knew that Al Capone would do his best to have him killed. But he
wanted most of all to try to be an example and to do the best he could
to give back to his son, a good name. So he testified. Within the year,
he was shot and killed on a lonely street in Chicago. These sound like
two unrelated stories, but Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

The Story of Butch O' Hare

During the course of World War II, many people gained fame in one
way or another. One man was Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot
assigned to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific. One time his entire
squadron was assigned to fly a particular mission. After he was
airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had
forgotten to top off his fuel tank. Because of this, he would not have
enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to leave formation and return. As he was
returning to the mother ship, he could see a squadron of Japanese
Zeroes heading toward the fleet to attack. And with all the fighter
planes gone, the fleet was almost defenceless. His was the only
opportunity to distract and divert them. Single-handily, he dove into
the formation of Japanese planes and attacked them. The American
fighter planes were rigged with cameras, so that as they flew and
fought, pictures were taken so pilots could learn more about the
terrain, enemy manoeuvres, etc.

Butch dove at them and shot until all his ammunition was gone, then
he would dive and try to clip off a
wing or tail or anything that would make the enemy planes unfit to fly.
He did anything he could to keep them from reaching the American
ships. Finally, the Japanese squadron took off in another direction,
and Butch O' Hare and his fighter, both badly shot up, limped back to
the carrier. He told his story, but not until the film from the camera on
his plane was developed, did they realize the extent he really went to,
to protect his fleet. He was recognized as a hero and given one of the
nation's highest military honours. And as you may know, O'Hare
Airport was named after him.

Prior to this time in Chicago, there was a man called Easy Eddie. He
was working for a man Al Capone. Al Capone wasn't famous for
anything heroic, but he was notorious for the murders he'd committed
and the illegal thing's he'd done. Easy Eddie was Al Capone's lawyer
and he was very good. In fact, because of his skill, he was able to
keep Al Capone out of jail. To show his appreciation, Al Capone paid
him very well. He not only earned big money, he would get extra
things, like a residence that filled an entire Chicago city block.

The house was fenced, and he had live-in help and all of the
conveniences of the day. Easy Eddie had a son. He loved his son
and gave him all the best things while he was growing up, - clothes,
cars, and a good education. And, because he loved his son he tried
to teach him right from wrong. But one thing he couldn't give his son
was a good name, and a good example. Easy Eddie decided that this
was much more important than all the riches he had given him. So, he
went to the authorities in order to rectify the wrong he had done.

In order to tell the truth, it meant he must testify against Al Capone, and
he knew that Al Capone would do his best to have him killed. But he
wanted most of all to try to be an example and to do the best he could
to give back to his son, a good name. So he testified. Within the year,
he was shot and killed on a lonely street in Chicago. These sound like
two unrelated stories, but Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

The Story of a Zen Master

When the great Sufi mystic, Hasan, was dying, somebody asked
"Hasan, who was your master?"

He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will
take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly
tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a
village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one
man who was trying to make a hole in the wall of a house. I asked
him where I could stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be
difficult, but you can stay with me - if you can stay with a thief'. And
the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he
would say to me, 'Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.'
When he came back I would ask 'Could you get anything?' He would
say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.'

He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy. When I was
meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was
happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate,
so hopeless, that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I
would remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing,
tomorrow it is going to happen.'

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and
a dog came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw
another dog there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would
bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come
back. Finally, despite his fear, he just jumped into the water, and the
image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from
God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child
was carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the
candle there. 'Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'have you lit the candle
yourself?' He said, 'Yes sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when
the candle was unlit, and then there was a moment when the candle
was lit. Can you show me the source from which the light came?' And
the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now you have seen
the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!' My ego was
shattered; my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt
my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledge ability.
It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a
disciple -- I accepted the whole existence as my master.

"My Disciple hood was a greater involvement than yours is.
I trusted the clouds, the trees.
I trusted existence as such.
I had no master because I had millions of masters
I learned from every possible source.
To be a disciple is a must on the path.

What does it mean to be a disciple?
It means to be able to learn, to be available to learn,
to be vulnerable to existence.

With a master you start learning to learn.

The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to
swim. Once you have learned, all the oceans are yours."

Selfishness Destructs You

Once upon a time there lived a Bharunda, a bird with two heads. One day it found a strange fruit on the seashore. It picked it up and started eating it. The head that was feeding, exclaimed, "Many a sweet fruit tossed by the sea have I eaten, but this beats them all! Is it the fruit of a sandalwood tree or that of the divine parijata?"

Hearing this, the other head asked to taste the fruit, but the first head refused, saying, "We have a common stomach, so there's no need for you to eat it too. I'll give it to our sweetheart, the Bharundi," and with that, it tossed the half-eaten fruit to the female.

From that day on, the second head carried a grudge against the first and waited for an opportunity to take revenge. One day it found a poison fruit. Picking up the fruit, it said to the first head, "You selfish wretch! See, here's a poison fruit and I'm going to eat it!"

"Don't do that, you fool!" shrieked the first head, "you'll kill us both!"

But the second head would not listen. It consumed the poison and soon the two-headed bird was dead.

â€"A tale from the Panchatantra