Funny Service call

I was having trouble with my computer.
So I called Bruce, the computer guy, to come over.
Bruce clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him,
"So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but
Nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error?
What's that . In case I need to fix it again?"

Bruce grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error
before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down.
I D 1 0 T

Everyone's Problem is Large

The young man was at the end of his rope.

Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer.

"Lord, I can't go on ," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear."

The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish.

"The man was filled with relief.

Thank you, Lord," he sighed, and he did as he was told.

Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible.

Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall.

"I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.

And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined.

How to win a Court case?

A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit.

Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst.

So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars.

The partner was horrified. "The judge is an honorable man," the partner exclaimed.

"If you do that, I can guarantee you will lose the case!"

Weeks later the judge ruled in favor of the lawyer's client.

The partner took him to lunch to congratulate him. "Aren't you glad you didn't send those cigars to the judge?",

The partner asked. " But I did send them,"

Replied the lawyer. "I just enclosed the complainant's lawyer's business card !"

Get Pissed Off

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.

Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.

The bartender is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves.

The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $3 dollar bill.

The bartender thinks: "okay, business is business " and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn't say anything.

Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 note.

The bartender goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says: " there is your fu*king change!"

The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says: "Gimme another beer! "

A Bar Joke

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er... Excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"

She responds in a loud voice : " NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.

The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes, and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

The young man responds loudly with, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. THATS TOO MUCH !"

Childless Couple

There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children. After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally, they consulted their family priest.

"My children," the priest began, "The Lord will listen to your prayers, and I am sure that you will be blessed with children shortly. In fact, I am planning an extended stay in Rome, and while I'm visiting the Vatican, I will light a candle for you."

"Thank you, Father, thank you!" said the couple.

Before leaving, the priest turned and said, "I am sure everything will work out just fine for you. My stay in Rome will be for quite some time--15 years. But when I return, I will be sure to pay you a visit."

And so, 15 years came and went, and the priest returned to the States.

While resting on his porch one mid-summer morning, he remembered the promise of paying a visit that he had made 15 years ago. So he made his way to their home, and upon arriving at the residence of the couple who'd sought his council years earlier, he rang the doorbell.

Sounds of crying and screaming children filled the air! Overjoyed by the thought that their prayers had been answered, he entered the house. More than a DOZEN children filled the house from top to bottom! In the midst of all the chaos, stood the wife.

"My dear," the priest said, "your prayers have been answered! And where is your husband? I wish to congratulate him too on your miracle!"

"He just left for Rome," she said in a very desperate tone.

"Rome? Why did he go to Rome?" asked the priest.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"To blow out that candle you lit!"

Sleeping Pills and Barking Dogs

An exhausted looking sardarji dragged himself in to a doctor's clinic. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the sardarji answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the sardarji returned, looking worse than ever. "Doctor, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the sardarji wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

Joke:Why couldn't I open the door?

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?

Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?

Santa: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!

Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?

Santa: Yes it did.

Doctor: And what did these letter spell?

Santa: It said "Pull"

Sardarji Jokes

Teacher: "I killed a person." Convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this Packet
Sardar:- Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it...

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a woman
gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

9 Rules for a Successful Life

1 - Live to relax!

2 - Love your bed, it is your temple!

3 - Relax in the day, so that you can sleep at night!

4 - Work is holy, so don't attack it!

5 - Don't do something tomorrow, that you can do the day afterwards!

6 - Work as little as possible. Let the others do what needs to be done!

7 - Don't worry, nobody died from doing nothing, but you could get hurt at work!

8 - If you feel like doing work, sit down and wait until that feeling goes away!

9 - Don't forget: working is healthy! So leave it for the sick people!